The Gloriously Inappropriate Glow-in-the-Dark Dickatortoise – For Every Awkward Moment

Description

Introducing the Dickatortoise, the glorified mascot of cringe and confusion that you never knew you desperately needed! Perfect for transforming ordinary beach bonfires into debauched bachelor parties or awkward family reunions into memorable ‘I can’t believe that just happened’ moments. This unapologetically absurd 3D-printed creature radiates so much charm it might just get you exiled from the next gathering. Measuring in at a heroic 2.6 inches tall (the ideal stature for both intimidation and chuckles) and stretching out to 5.1 inches long (perfect for awkwardly placing on someone’s desk), it’s the comedic equivalent of bringing a sinfully questionable dip to a potluck. Subtle? Hardly! But it WILL bring all the conversation and confusion you could hope for. Ideal for the friend who revels in ridiculousness or that awkward coworker who just can't take a hint, the Dickatortoise is here to create a cloud of hysteria at your next event. One glance at its whimsical presence and elated shrieks of laughter ensue—or maybe it's an eye-roll. Who knows? Bonus points if you can get it to ‘accidentally’ appear at a first date! Pro tip: While suitable for adults who appreciate the absurd, it’s definitely NOT for the faint of heart or anyone who enjoys a soporific life. Keep out of the reach of children unless you want to incite a perplexing family saga!

Why It's Perfect

• Guaranteed to make them question your friendship
• Perfect for creating awkward moments
• Will be remembered (or hidden) for years to come